Anger and Violence

Get a load of this stuff I got from a dear friend online, its about the topic above. enjoy!

Can you relate to this family and their 'tough situation'?

"My 16-year-old son, James, is failing in school. He is often angry, has no interest in our family, and sometimes doesn't come home until 4 a.m. I have no idea what hes doing and worry he might get into trouble.

At home, he spends most of the time in his room playing violent video games and listening to music with violent lyrics. Ive heard him plotting revenge with friends, and he seems to always be talking about different weapons. This worries me, but I don't really believe he would hurt anyone. What can I do?"

You are right to be worried.

Although it is difficult to predict who will become violent, there are certain risk factors that may warn of possible danger. It is important to keep in mind that the presence of these signs does not necessarily mean that a person will become violent.

These risk factors include:

* History of violent or aggressive behavior
* Carrying weapons or access to weapons
* Use of alcohol and other drugs
* Isolation from family and/or peers
* Poor grades
* Trouble controlling anger

The more of these warning signs we see, the more we believe that children are at risk for violent behavior.

No single factor indicates a problem, but if we see a pattern of several risk factors, its time to take precautions. James exhibits many of these warning signs. He is isolated from his family, failing in school and staying out much too late at night. He has discussed weapons, has a problem with anger, and you heard him plotting revenge.

Has James been bullied, or excluded, or teased by peers or family members? Children who have been bullied, mistreated by others, or feel they have been mistreated, are also at higher risk for being violent than those who have not. The same is true for children who feel rejected or alone.

Red Flags

As you consider various risk factors, bear in mind that these are red flags, not predictors of violence. They are warning signs of possible trouble. After some of the recent high profile shootings in schools, the media has publicized lists of warning signs.

These lists can be used to unfairly label nonviolent youth as dangerous, because many adolescents who will never become violent will show some of the red flag behaviors. Still, parents should recognize these warning signs and use them as a cue that something is wrong and a child needs help.

When parents see a serious problem affecting their child and can't seem to resolve it, they should connect with someone who can. To help James, you should look for a child/family mental health professional who is well-respected in your community and experienced in working with adolescents and their families.

When a teen exhibits a number of warning signs for violence, as James does, parents should act promptly for safety sake. As a precaution, they should make sure their children do not have access to firearms, and remove other dangerous materials or objects from the home. Refer to the sections on Getting Help for Your Teen for guidance.

How to Deal with the Teenage Anger in You

Anger is the enemy in any relationship, even as a teenager.

Lack of control leads to the use of words that may later be deeply regretted, even when you feel it was just bearing your mind, it still does not help your relationship at all.

Often times the inability of dealing with teenage anger leads to rebellion, violent outburst as well as other emotionally related impulses. This puts you as an unstable, unreliable person.:(

To deal with teenage anger means to help curb chances of going off at a tangent to the purpose of getting angry in the first place. You must realize that teenage anger is being unable to manage your emotions-hence the term teenage anger.

Anger is good, but not being able to manage it is not okay, therefore to deal with teenage anger in you, here are my sincere suggestions:

Tips for calming down

* Watch your tongue. Many time you'll observe that the course for sudden outburst isn't really worth the trouble

* Calm Down. Think matters through before opening your mouth in speech.

* Get Distracted. Whatever gets hot also gets cold, try taking a walk to ease tension

* Preach to yoursel. Talk to yourself. Say mind soothing words to yourself, reaffirm you are not going to blow up, you are not going to go out of control, etc

* Turn the Gun. Instead of getting angry, try to re-frame the matter and use it against the source of your anger.

* Diffuse the Bomb. As long as you are not being sarcastic in your approach, you could have a little humor on the side to dampen the whole get-angry thing.Works for me :)

So, there you have it.

Give it a shot and remember, Anger is your enemy, not the person who causes you to get angry.

What is Teen Dating Violence?

Hi, In this blog my passion is to help solve, if not all then some of the most crucial questions young people ask, providing real, factual and dependable answers for today's youngster.

for today, I'll like us to look at a question I was once asked at a speaking engagement, hope you enjoy it - it's on Teenage Dating Violence, read on..

Teenage dating violence has been defined as the sexual, physical,psychological (or better put emotional) violence that takes place in the course of a dating relationship.

Chances are that you may have heard of numerous different words used to explain teenage dating violence(we won't be dealing with that on this issue).

From research about 9.9% of high "schoolers" report of various forms of violence, from being knocked out, slapped,to other cases as being molested physically on the account of a girl or boy. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2007 Youth Risk Behavior Survey.)

And because dating today is common place with everyone, it is expected of all concerned to know when to, know when to run and when to quit.

Having now a clue to what teenage dating violence is - the next logical thing to ask would be - What are the courses of teenage of dating violence?

subsequent posts will deal with this issue. see ya!